Appreciation & Adulthood!!!!

My friend’s daughter started learning words at very early age. When I met her for the second time I had to clap each time after her each success in finding right picture for right word – it was motivating her to try more. A year later, I heard that she wanted her mom to say “Awesome” after her little accomplishments in pronouncing correct words. That innocent story made me so happy that back home I thought of celebrating our little success here and there too..Its weird right? When we learn to speak and start to achieve big things , we forget to ask people to clap or say “Awesome”!

One of the things I understood about me was I was always my worst critic ; I never took any success as ….well as success! Time I took to solve a difficult problem , time vs miles of achievements , the path I took to find a solution , the platform I chose to find answer – nothing ever made me that happy! Recently I read in a famous book on career people that many women are made like that only. While a boy celebrates his success for 80 out of 100 score saying “I am the best” , we back home do our pillow cry – “Why only 90 out of 100! Why so bad!” And that’s how years pass…Life moves on..Being so harsh on ourselves don’t improve anything.

For a few years now, my friends and I are discussing on this topic. In this busy “Tom & Jerry ” life and socializing on virtual networks , we hardly get time to appreciate each other , or ourselves nowadays. Other than that, there is gender bias. Women are supposed to be good in certain things , as per some-unknown-made-those-rules ; Hence the friend who cooks well but is passionate about photography is appreciated for her feature and cooking skill ; people see what they want to see! My friend complained to me : ” Why Mr X is regarded as a good photographer but I get no appreciation for my hard work!” In every part of the world, there are billions complaints like that one…staying open and unnoticed!(That’s for another blog, another day.)

I understand that appreciation /acknowledging good work play a vital role in success stories. I did not find any great work without at least few people supporting the protagonist. :)..You need at least one or two true souls appreciating you! It brings such a positive energy in the ocean of creativity. Think about your childhood. Did you ever want to read history after every low score ( and even when your teacher did not appreciate your effort to memorize long lost years and places and incidents!) ? But, you always liked Maths, physics because your teachers appreciated you each time you solved hard equations or memorized a complex formula!

As we grow up and carry the pressure from outside to outshine everyone ,we forget to acknowledge what we liked the most for many years. We forget to see what our friends are doing! How good are they still in painting! Does she still write poems? With many other burdens in adulthood , our focused-on-goals-mind limits itself within a certain boundary, sometimes locked up in a closed door for years! Open mind’s door at least once in while ; Express what you like the most ; what your passion is! Find out who is working hard to stand out ; appreciate ; select your words, a few good words for each other!Celebrate “you” for who you are..right now in life!  Clap once in a while for the old best friend who still plays football. Ask for feedback from your best-office-colleague ;paint something and show your mom! Stop there & say “Awesome” to your Dad who just filled another page on his diary!

Our journey time is limited..I learned that. If you try to hold your life tight, it may not be a-live ; Life is never life-less ; like many living things, it needs oxygen too……..

And , lets remember : “Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.” ~Voltaire

Author: Archita

Musings about life and photography.

2 thoughts on “Appreciation & Adulthood!!!!”

  1. Thank you for reading this. I am glad that that you found a bit of yourself in this post. It’s even my story too..:) I work hard to stand out in a gender biased world. I learned to appreciate myself too:):) ..It’s necessary. You have a beautiful blog and I am glad I found your posts .

  2. This was insightful: “While a boy celebrates his success for 80 out of 100 score saying “I am the best” , we back home do our pillow cry – “Why only 90 out of 100! Why so bad!” And that’s how years pass…Life moves on..Being so harsh on ourselves don’t improve anything.”
    This reflects my experience – working with mostly men for 20 years and being married to a man and raising sons for as long.

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